Parenting Children With Special Needs

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Among the many challenges of parenting children with special needs:

– Learning about the disability
– Researching, locating and accessing effective treatments and resources
– Coping with the emotional and physical demands of caring for an individual with a disability
– Getting to the innumerable appointments with medical providers, therapists, advocates, and school personnel
– Advocating for appropriate school interventions, accommodations, and/or placements
– Paying for the many treatments and interventions not covered by health insurance or the school system

STRESS

The burden of stress is great for those parenting children with special needs. A recent study found that mothers of adolescents and adults with autism had levels of stress hormones comparable to soldiers in combat. Finances are often a source of stress. Frequently one parent, usually the mother, sacrifices her career to attend to the child’s needs with a resulting loss of income for the family.

The emotional impact is enormous and may include:

Fear and worry about:
– The child’s pain and suffering
– The child’s future
– The question of whether you are doing enough or doing the right things to help the child  get over the guilt
– The limits of your ability to protect the child
– The loss of attention toward other children, your spouse, and aging parents
– Your jealousy and resentment of those with “normal” children

Feelings of isolation because you:
– Miss out on many family-oriented activities because your child’s disability prevents her/him from successfully participating
– Encounter criticism and judgment of your parenting from others who don’t understand your child’s disability
– Feel like an outsider around parents of typically developing children

Grief over:
– The loss of hopes and dreams you had for the child
– Not having the parenting experience you’d imagined
– Recurrent reminders of what your child misses out on and lead to chronic sorrow

Parenting Children With Special Needs - Special needs - Top4

SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT

Parenting children with special needs often causes one to be exhausted and frequently depressed. Their reserves of time and resources for self-care are even more depleted than those of parents of typical children. Yet their need for refueling is also greater. To be sustained through the marathon of caring for a child with special needs, it is essential that parents attend to their own needs. There is useful information throughout this website on caring for one’s self and well-being. Often the most beneficial support and information parents receive is from other parents of children with special needs. In recognition of this, a group of parents at BU founded a peer support network to help parents connect with other BU faculty and staff who are caring for a child with a disability. The network created a secure website (with access requiring a Kerberos password) where parents share their stories and invite other parents to contact them for support, resource information, and guidance. The website contains a Get in Touch link through which additional parents can join the network.

Other sources of information and support are:

– Books by other parents of children with special needs
– Internet discussion boards or online parent support groups
– Local support groups (consider starting one if none exists)
– Advocacy groups, both general and disability-specific
– School district Special Education Parent Advisory Council (SEPAC)
– The PACER Center for children with disabilities: http://www.pacer.org/
– Sign up to receive news from the Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children and Adolescents (NESCA) group practice blog


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About the author

Michael Doyle

Michael is a digital marketing powerhouse and the brain behind Top4 Marketing and Top4. His know-how and over 23 years of experience make him a go-to resource for anyone looking to crush it in the digital space. To get the inside scoop on the latest and greatest in digital marketing, be sure to read his blog posts and follow him on LinkedIn.

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